I've added some new photos today, very amature stuff. I am reminded of the quote "owning a camera doesn't make you a photographer." I do not claim to be a photographer, however, I like the photo's I've posted here and hope that perhaps, someone else will find joy in them.

_______________________________________________________________

On a personal note...

Things in my life are considerably much more managable than before. I'm not riddled with sadness and self loathing; I am, however, at a cross-road. There are a lot of things I need to think long and hard about, a lot of decisions that I know have to be made.

I'm considering a massive life change. Dropping everything here and moving away. Things at work are slow, and although when business picks up it's like a lisence to print money, I have to make it through this rough time here. I also have to think, if I do wait it out, to what gain? I'm not necessarily happy with my job, I work shifts, have either too much or too little spare time, and the opportunities for self advancement aren't exactly supreme. It makes sense, especially now, while things might get worse to persue other options.

I wont lie, a lot of what I'm feeling has to do with a boy... THE BOY. I want to be closer to him, both geographically and emotionally, and again, right now, while my life is in shambles here, it makes sense to take the plunge. I'd be moving to an area where jobs - good, well paying jobs - are more plentiful, to where my best friend and brother are, while greatly reducing the geographical distance between my boyfriend and I.

Logically, it all makes sense. I'm just a big pussy cat. I stress and worry. I'd have to sell the crap shack I call my house, and in the current market that is going to be a daunting task. Also, I'd have to leave the safe, familiar life that, although I don't always love, and may not always thrive at, I do know how to survive.

When I lay it all out, the reasons for leaving are much better than the reasons for staying, but the battle in my mind keeps raging, running on and on, not unlike this sentence, with the same conclusion: NONE, or I'll decide later. I wish that I were more decisive, that I had the ability to look at an opportunity and seize it right away without looking at all the consequences first, or waiting until it has passed by, or worse, taking the plunge at exactly the wrong time, and ruining everything(This I need to be most afraid of, history has shown I have a knack for it).